


Little Shit

by Alexa_Sire



Category: Skam - Fandom
Genre: Chris Berg (Alex), Eva Kviig Mohn (Ava), F/M, Noora Amalie Sætre (River), Sana Bakkoush (Aaeesha), Vilde Lien Helleru (Kelly), William Magnusson (Dash)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-26 19:04:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19011970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexa_Sire/pseuds/Alexa_Sire
Summary: River and her friends talk about boys and self image, when an unsuspected guest shows up at the River household.





	Little Shit

**Author's Note:**

> This is a parody of Skam (OG) set in the U.K

"Can you burn water?" I ask my friends on our Skype call while waiting for the water to boil. Originally, we planned on discussing our history homework that's due tomorrow but then they ended up talking about that cute new gym teacher while I started to make pasta for me and my brother. 

 

"Yes, you can burn anything" Aaeesha says matter a factly.  

 

"Even fire itself?" Said Alex. 

 

"What do you think Dash Likes in a girl?" Kelly asks abruptly, looking at a mirror in her room. I hate this. Why did Dash have to say that to her? She didn't do anything wrong and yet he treated her like garbage.

 

"What are we, 12?" I said, trying to end the conversation.

 

"Ugh! I'm so over boys right now" Ava says, ramming her face into a pillow.

 

"That's because your ex is an asshole" I said. Mean but true. Her ex is indeed, an asshole. 

 

"He is not!" She exclaims. 

 

"Wasn't he talking to his ex while he was with you?" Aaeesha questions. 

 

"Guys, I asked a question here!" Kelly yells. Oh great, let the depressing talk begin. 

 

"It doesn't matter what a boy thinks about you Kelly, It only matters what's in your brain" Says Aaeesha.

 

"True" I mutter under my breath as I began to make the pasta.

 

"Shouldn't you know River? I mean, your brother is friends with him after all" Ava says with a smirk. 

 

"So? I've never had a conversation with him.." I say unconvincingly, trying to look casual while looking at my phone. 

 

"Well that's a lie..." Ava mutters. Can she shut up while Kelly's present! I knew I shouldn't have told her what happened...

 

"And, like Aaeesha said, looks shouldn't matter" I said, hoping to change the subject. 

 

"Bullshit, don't lie to her, men are pigs and only think with their dicks. Boobs Kells, he definitely looks like a boob man" Ava says. Well that was a shit answer to give to an insecure person like Kelly. 

 

"But I don't have any boobs..." Kelly mutters looking at her chest. See, I told you it was a shit answer. 

 

"Which doesn't matter because what!" I exclaimed, pointing at Alex and Ava for assistance. 

 

"Looks shouldn't matter..." They say in union. 

 

"But it does" Kelly says emotionless.

 

"it does matter" We were all silent. Stunned by Kelly's words. Seeing Kelly so sad over a stupid boy like Dash is heartbreaking. I mean, know one should be sad over someone named,  _ Dash _ .

 

"Which is why I said it  _ shouldn't _ matter, not that it does" I replied gloomily. We were all quiet for a minute. Waiting. Then an idea came to mind. 

 

"Hey, want to hear a song I've been practicing?" I ask excitedly.

 

"Not particularly" Said a bored Aaeesha.

 

"Rude, and I was talking to  _ Kelly _ , by the way"

 

"I'm with Aaeesha, not in the mood" said a sad Kelly.

 

"Well, obviously you bummers don't count.."

 

"Do  _ you _ guys want to hear me sing?" I ask, motioning towards Ava and Alex.

 

"Yes!"

 

"Absolutely!"

 

"Thank you! That's what I'm talking about!" Ugh, gotta love them. I looked at my phone and started to play "Hold On" by the Jonas Brothers.

 

"Really, the Jonas Brothers" Aaeesha says laughing.

 

"Shhh, this is my song!" I started singing into a wooden spoon and dancing around my kitchen, hearing laughter from my computer.

 

"Cause an empty room, can be so loud. There's too many tears, to drown them out, So hold on, hold on, hold- " I turned around and yelped.

 

"What happened?" Ava questions.

 

"What are you looking at?" Kelly asks. I can't believe what I'm seeing right now. Dash Thomson, leaning against the wall staring at me, smiling. 

 

"Umm, I'll see you guys at school tomorrow, I-I think I'm hallucinating" 

 

"Wha-" I turn off Skype before Kelly can finish her sentence. 

 

"What are you doing here?" I ask him, slowly walking towards him. 

 

"Obviously trying to get a free concert" He says cheekily. Ugh, he's so annoying.

 

"Are you like, staying here?" I ask. I mean, I assume he's here cause my idiot brother invited him over while my dear old mother is out of town. Or I really am hallucinating and I am finally going crazy.

 

"Why? Want me to?" He says smiling. His smile slowly fades as he sees me give him no reaction. I am in NO mood for jokes right now. Especially if it’s coming from a shit head like him.

 

He sighs, "yes, I am spending the night here" 

 

"Aww, you and Niall are having a sleepover? How cute!" I gushed, mockingly. 

 

"Did you just unknowingly call me cute?" He asked, smiling at me. If he wasn't such a little shit...I might've called his smile  _ cute _ . 

 

"You wish" I said annoyed.

 

"I absolutely do" He says dreamily. I roll my eyes and was heading towards my room when I ran into my brother in the hallway. Literally.

 

"Watch it!" Niall yells. 

 

"Look, you and your little friend here, BETTER be quiet for the rest of the night or I'm telling mom you had a girl over while she was out of town" I said, completely annoyed with the situation. How dare he invite random people over to OUR house without my permission. Especially if that person is,  _ Dash _ . 

 

"Then I'm telling mom you had a boy over" Niall says, egging me on. 

 

"Do you honestly think she'll believe that?" I said, crossing my arms over my chest. While me and my brother were having a staring contest, I felt Dash's head lean on my shoulder.

 

"I know I wouldn't" He says leaning on my shoulder. I turn my head, face to face with Dash while his head was still on my shoulder. Man, he's really cute up close...FOCUS RIVER! I pushed him off me and slowly walk backwards towards my room while giving them both the eye. 

 

This is going to be an interesting night.


End file.
